Now a days, in most of the world, tradition has been flung out the window, either partially or completely. Regardless of sexuality or gender, picking out an engagement ring is something many couples do together, taking the first steps in formally committing their lives together. The other big change is the innumerable choices they now have to pick from!
How do you decide which ring is THE ring you or your significant other will wear for the rest of your life?!
Below are the main things to keep in mind when making your selection. Even if you are like me and knew more so what you wanted, this guide can help you and your partner feel more confident in your final purchase.
Brief History
Engagement rings can be traced back to Roman times, though these rings could often be made of materials other than gold and did not showcase any kind of stone. The first diamond engagement ring isn’t even recorded until 1477, given to Mary of Burgundy from Austrian Archduke Maximilian. Even then, diamonds didn’t take off in popularity until the 1940s. Most vintage engagement rings had settings of other stones and put more into the intricate details of the ring instead.
Budget
If you and your love are seriously talking about getting engaged to be married the first thing that should be established is the budget. With so many options on the market, you won’t have any problem finding something you can afford, but you need to know who is paying for it and how much can reasonably be spent on this gem.
Forget the marketing ploy of 3 months’ salary. Maybe you’ve decided you both will contribute too it. Maybe the asker can only afford so much, and the receiver is willing to add to it to guarantee the look they want. Maybe you both want to get engagement rings for each other! No matter what the situation is, it’s best to set realistic expectations for both of you.
And NEVER lie about what you bought! The old adage of fake it ‘til you make it, does NOT apply here! If you can’t be honest with your partner about this, I would reconsider popping the question until you feel you can be. There are several great diamond substitutes, but your partner should know what they have on their finger. Nothing good will come when they eventually find out!
Communication
Of course, you’re already talking about getting engaged, and the budget you want to spend. I’m referring to communicating what you want! Don’t just lay out pictures and hope they take the hint, does you’re partner ever really get your hints anyway? Communicate what you like, what you don’t like, if there is a family ring you have always dreamed of wearing because it was what your great-grandmother wore through 60 years of marriage and means so much to you.
If you have absolutely no clue what you want, Pinterest is, of course, my go to resource and is where I pulled most of my photos that I then shared with A. Start a board just for engagement rings, save only the ones you could really see yourself wearing, imagine it in the box, on your finger, through your typical day, soon enough you’ll be able to see similarities in the ones you save.
Go ahead and window shop online. Plenty brick and mortar jewelers sell online now, along with some other reputable online-only jewelers that have popped up over the last decade. Most have their prices displayed, so you can even get a better idea of what will work for your budget. Lots of them even have a custom design tool so you can create your dream ring right from your home!
Don’t be afraid to go into jewelry stores, whether it’s a national chain or a local boutique, reputable jewelers will know their stuff and be able to answer any questions that you may still have after reading this. You’ll be able to try on lots of different bands and sizes to see what really works for you.
I put on a 3-carat diamond solitaire and while it was gorgeous and fun to have on, I knew something that big wasn’t going to work for me, who is constantly using her hands for work, plus it looked so disproportionate with my slender fingers.
Don’t feel intimidated, remember, you are the one they need to wow in order to make a sale. You can leave without making any purchase at all and try somewhere else if you feel too pressured.
Bands
The band of the engagement ring is just the tip of the iceberg. The first thing you will want to consider is the metal used to make it, traditionally gold is used, whether yellow, white, or rose, but there are several other common metals used now including sterling silver, platinum, titanium, tungsten, and stainless steel. Each metal type has their pros and cons, so consider the wearer’s style and activity.
Second thing to consider is the width of the band, typically the smaller and slimmer the fingers the thinner you’ll probably want the band. The width will also depend on the setting you decide, as well as if you plan to get the ring engraved. While, micro engravings are possible, it’s usually nicer to be able to read it with your own eyes.
The last piece of the band you’ll need to consider is the look. You can have the band be plain, or you can add smaller stones to it. Some common band stone settings are surface prong setting, bezel setting, bar setting, scallop setting, and channel setting. Some of these setting will look very similar when looking down at the ring but will change the appearance of the band when you view it from the side.
Settings
Your setting options will somewhat be limited by the shape of the stone you choose. The biggest role of the setting is to show off the stone or stones you chose and enhance the bling factor! As throughout this whole process the style of the wearer should be taken into consideration, which will help you narrow down the plethora of choices in settings that exist.
I knew I wanted a solitaire diamond and was always drawn to the 6-prong style I saw on Pinterest. I got my solitaire, but with a 4-prong setting. The jeweler A worked with to get my ring made her case for this setting, and she was not wrong! It allows for maximum light to shine through the diamond and holds it in a way to show off its full size.
Stones
Sapphires, rubies, and emeralds, oh my!
I did ultimately receive a diamond ring but had considered a blue or white sapphire or aquamarine as my ring’s main stone. There were two main things that persuaded me to ask for a diamond instead.
The first, was my overall look, I tried to imagine myself wearing a rich sapphire or pale aquamarine ring with my usual outfits, to me the sapphire didn’t go with enough, so I thought more about the aquamarine instead.
The second reason is a stones’ durability. Most likely any stone I chose would have been fine but knowing that there was such a vast difference between aquamarine and a diamond I couldn’t let go of the thought that I wanted ease of care over the long haul I’d be wearing it and not have to worry about it being more prone to scratches.
Not all stones are made equal, and they are not all graded by the same system as a diamond. Most likely you are drawn to a different stone because of its color, which is a great reason enough to opt for something else, just be sure to do your research about the gemstone you are considering. It’s important to know how another gemstone’s value is determined so you are better prepared to find the one you want.
4 C’s
Of course, the 4 C’s that rule the diamond world! Carat, Cut, Clarity, and Color, all have their own scales by which a diamond is judged by. Most people believe that the true value lies in the carat measurement, but the better ranking it is across all 4 categories, the higher the value and price tag.
A diamond’s Cut is what gives it its ultimate bling factor! The better the quality of the cut the more light will be reflected through the diamond increasing its brilliance and fire. Not to be mistaken as a diamond’s shape, which does have an effect on the cut of a diamond and can limit the ultimate quality cut a diamond can have.
A diamond’s Carat is the most known element of diamonds by far. While sometimes mistake as the size of the diamond it is actually measured by the weight. So, a larger carat diamond is quite literally heavier on your finger!
A diamond’s Clarity is not something that can usually be determined just by looking at it. This measure is based off of the imperfections of the diamond that occur mostly through its core. The scale ranges from flawless (which hardly exists on the market) down to a mark of I3. If you compared the 2 opposite spectrums you could see the differences clearly but getting a diamond with clarity ranked somewhere in the middle isn’t going to be obvious unless you’re an expert.
A diamond’s Color is also not something that is so easily recognized without going to the extreme ends of the scale. A diamond that is rated under D, E, and F as colorless will drastically increase the price from it’s almost colorless and faint color rankings. The scale extends down through Z, which will have the most yellow coloring to it. Unless you are an expert, the color is not so easily determined for all the mid ranged diamond colors.
Your budget, the wearer’s style, and the desired look all the top things to keep in mind as you go through the process to find your forever ring! Remember to have fun together, and hopefully create some sweet stories to share whenever someone asks about your gorgeous engagement ring.
If this guide helped you pick out your perfect ring let me know in the comments and tag me with your new bling on Instagram @kaela_edwards I love reading people’s engagement stories!
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